Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Drawing a blank

Somebody's going to have to come up with some blog material for me because I am running on empty. I'm re-enlisting in the school of "fake it till ya make it" and distracting myself with multiple simultaneous activities not related to babies or housecleaning (both things I detest at the moment). But I just yelled, "Myles, get off of your brother," and, "Samuel, you can not kick at your brother's face like that." So, I think it's just that life goes on. At least I HOPE it's just that life goes on.

Sometimes I can't even believe it was just two months ago I was in the hospital waiting to deliver another dead baby. I remember two months after Alex died...I was still a mess. Now...well...I'm not. I wonder if there is something to this denial thing. I wonder if this is just one of the perks to losing three babies (there aren't that many, don't get too excited). I wonder if I'm becoming someone whose heart is just a little too scarred to care. Funny, how you WANT to forget...and then when you do...you wonder what's wrong with you that you COULD forget.

2 comments:

Shanna said...

Have you been sewing? I have finally gotten my machine excavated from the pit of doom that is my dining room. ;) Helps to have mom here to keep the girl entertained so that little fingers aren't trying to play chicken with the sewing machine needle.
Stories of the animals and of course what those gorgeous boys of your's get into.

kate said...

(((((hugs))))) Cheesy, sorry, that's all i got.