Sunday, April 25, 2010

One of those days

Yesterday, the bleeding seemed to have stopped.

Didn't sleep well...even with the Ambien.

Had a charlie horse/blood clot in my calf sometime last night and momentarily forgot (have ONLY ever had a charlie horse while pregnant).

Woke up feeling cheated...and sad...always so fucking sad.

Dealt with a "want go car" screaming fit from the two-year-old because he refused to put his diaper on and therefore could not go. At one point, actually said, "we don't always get what we want, kiddo."

The bleeding started again during doughnuts and coffee.

Steve stored the maternity clothes in a tub in the basement for me because I couldn't face them (took two weeks to get them washed for said storage). I actually asked him to douse them in gasoline and light them on fire, but he refused.

William, the cartoon pig on NickJr, says, "If your mom is having a baby and she asks you whether you want a brother or sister, that does not mean you're really going to get the kind you ask for."

Sundays are just going to suck for a long long long time.

6 comments:

lis said...

those drawings are so beautiful i wonder if you would share where or who you got them done from.
love to you. i have only lost two, but at once, and i can't imagine the days you must live through.

im so sorry

xoxo

Pipsylou said...

William, the cartoon pig on NickJr, says, "If your mom is having a baby and she asks you whether you want a brother or sister, that does not mean you're really going to get the kind you ask for."

Funny, I've had the same thought watching Olivia...

Both Alex and Travis look like litlte Colgans, all right. Those are beautiful drawings. You must treasure them.

This morning was baby dedication at our church. brutal.

At one point, the pastor said, "Little Isaac is named after his grandfather, Joseph Eugene." Scott and I both started laughing and couldn't stop.

Sarah said...

The pictures of Alex and Travis in your sidebar just took my breath away. I don't know how you can move on after pain like that, but I hope it will ease enough that it doesn't hurt so bad just to take the next breath. Many hugs to you.

ms. G said...

Thinking of you, Catherine.

Holley said...

hugs

Supposed to be... "Mama G"... said...

I just stumbled onto your blog after stopping in at Glow. I am so sorry to read about your losses. We lost our first daughter at 36 weeks, 5 days gestation on Feb 3, 2010...she was "born" on Feb 6th.... For us.. Wednesdays will suck...Forever...