Moving on

It's always weird the day after the anniversary of the worst day of our lives.

Back to a too-early alarm clock...I'm sooooo tired.

Back to work...
Today's work project is to determine who is responsible for paying for autopsies done in a neighboring county, our coroner's office (out of their budget) or our commissioners (out of the county general fund).

Back to blogging...
Thank you for all your kindness during this past week. Hell...thank you for all your kindness always. It seems impossible that anyone would want to read what I have to write for one day, let alone four years. But I have met some of the most amazing people through this blog and I consider you friends. I celebrate your victories and mourn your tragedies with you. And I am forever grateful that you share your words with me. I'm quite sure I would not have survived the past four years without you.

Like I said...it's weird. Part Oscar-acceptance speech, part lets-pretend-yesterday-was-just-another-day.

But before I move on entirely for another year, I want to tell you about my amazing husband. I generally get so wrapped up in the business of daily life (you know, dirty socks on the floor...dirty dishes in the sink) that I forget how wonderful he really is and how much I love him. When I rolled over in bed yesterday morning and said, "I just can't do it today," he didn't bat an eyelash before he said, "You want some company?" And just like that, what could have been an awful day turned into something kinder...less jagged around the edges.

He made all the necessary phone calls while I played with our amazing kiddos in our king sized bed. He changed more than one poopy diaper. He grilled burgers for lunch. He took us to Walmart to buy flowers for the cemetery AND home. He took us to Applebee's for dinner. He bought me Mike's Hard Lemonade AND wine for later ("It's a long week...get both."). He did the hard digging work, breaking up the sod, around our sons' headstones. He said I could have the huge TV to watch a "chick flick" any time I wanted it. He tucked me in bed, handed me the remote control, and kissed me so sweetly that even when we agreed, "it's always going to suck," I knew we'd make it ok.

When I said, "Thanks for today...it wasn't too bad," he replied simply, "We did it together."

And I realized...I only cried once during the entire day.