Little did my six-year-old son know I had reached my absolute limit and I could turn into SuperBitch so easily (I honestly think I've been fighting my natural tendencies with him for way too long).
I said, "If you don't clean this up, I'm going to give these toys away to someone else who will take care of them and appreciate them."
And when he replied, "I don't care, give them away," I lost it. Really really lost it.
I threw everything that would fit into four trash bags. The bigger toys got carried downstairs to the staging area for re-homing.
And then I sat in the middle of the newly unearthed bedroom floor and cried.
What happened to my beautiful baby boy? my sweet and kind angel? It seems he's gone from happy little boy to sullen teenager in the blink of an eye. And he's only SIX!
I know a lot of this is my fault (yes, I still assign blame when things go horribly wrong). We overindulged him for several years as a way to mend our own broken hearts. Making him happy was as close to FEELING happy as we could get during those dark months. I think we were also trying to make it up to him...as if we could compensate him for all our broken promises with a million hot wheels.
But it now seems he just didn't care...about any of it. Not the meaning behind the gifts...not the gifts themselves. It's probably expecting too much of him to think he would understand what it means to us...what we hoped it would mean to him. All I know is that I fear for what our lives are going to be like as he matures...and the thought of adolescence is absolutely terrifying to me at this moment.
Anybody know any little boys who need/want some toys? You name it, it's probably in here somewhere.