The baby was coming regardless of the fear. The pain heralded his arrival and no amount of wishful thinking was going to keep him inside. I strained against the power of the contractions, but I knew it was inevitable that he would be born. Steve was there, but nobody else seemed to care. We were alone and trying to survive this one more time. No doctors or nurses...just us.
The baby slid out of me onto the bed. I didn't pass out like when Travis was born. I heard something. I heard Steve gasp. I cried, "Is he dead?" Steve lifted him to my chest and he was alive and looking at me...tiny...so tiny...but alive. I saw in his soul the spirits of Alex and Travis...I saw my own soul looking back at me.
I cradled him to my chest and cried tears I thought I didn't have.
He wiggled against me...very much alive. And I cried even more.
"Please don't die," I whispered.
And then I woke up.