There are little moments I hope to never forget. So many of these moments are insignificant to anyone outside of our little green house in the country. But I want to remember them. Yet I know that as time passes these little memories will fade away into the past like mist in the morning. The joy of our snuggle before bed, laughing at the silliness of Charlie & Lola cartoons. The sound of excitement in Sam's voice as he describes, in great detail, the food he will serve and the games we will play at our picnic this summer. The light in his eyes as he dances around me, chattering about all the rides he plans to ride at the local festival this coming weekend.
I can not, for the life of me, put into words that feeling I get when I hear his voice. It permeates every single cell of my body. I love him with all of my soul. And I hope he will remember the little moments with the same love. I hope that I can make enough little moments for him so that he will look back and say that his childhood was a happy one. I love him too much to fail.
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3 comments:
There is no way you will fail, Catherine! You have already succeeded. Re-read your own words for proof of that. You describe a wonderful child who is facing life with the confidence that comes from knowing he is loved, and knowing that his parents will continue to provide him with good experiences. He doesn't doubt that at all! His memories may be different than yours...but they will be good. They will also provide you with wonder and amazement when he is an adult and he starts to relate something from his childhood to his children, in your presence, someday. There will be things from everyday life that are so simple you won't remember, but they are the fabric of his life and evidence of the legacy you are leaving in him that you have no awareness of. That is the blessing of adult children to their diligent and loving parents! You will stand in awe of your adult son in about thirty years, and just marvel that he is who he is, in spite of all the times when you are certain you have "failed" him! Forgive me for emoting on your blog...but having just turned 60 last week, I find myself in contemplative moods these days. And also in a position to enjoy the fruits of my parenting, and to encourage you in yours! You and Steve are providing a secure and happy life for Sam. He will be forever grateful for that, even though you are destined to have all the usual parent-child tensions along the way! Keep up the great work, Catherine! You are an awesome mother!
It's not in you to fail. Not as a parent, not as anything.
So, what games did you buy? Do tell.
I love the little moments. It makes me sad that with time they will fade away. I hold my kids and study their face- the shape of their nose, their delicate eyelashes, their perfect little lips- and I don't want to forget those moments in time. It all goes by too quickly.
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