A minister is reading my words. I am definitely going to hell now. :oP
Anyway...this comment has me confused...
So, the question shouldn't be: "what do you want me to do?", but: "What should we do in this situation?"
I can't answer that question!
How is your question (what should we do in this situation?) any different from my question (what do you want me to do)? What SHOULD we do? What do you want me to do? Same question based on the idea that there is a "right" choice and a "wrong" choice.
And where does one go for guidance in determining which is the "right" choice and a "wrong" choice? That was the whole point of my post. I pray and pray. I read and search. And there is nothing. No answer. No guidance. No insight. No peace.
I thought I made good decisions before. All I wanted was to have living children to love in this life. I wasn't breaking commandments or anything. And I was at peace that I was doing something GOOD. But given the outcome, I can't help but think that maybe someone somewhere just didn't agree with me.
God is a God of invitation to participate in his infinite love and creativity. He invites us to be co-workers with him in this baffling world.
I would love to believe this. But I can't help but think of this...
God sends out an invitation to dinner. I attend and have an amazing feast. God sends out another invitation to dinner and, remembering the previous experience, I am excited to attend. I accept the invitation, make an appearance and see the excitement through the window. Only when God opens the door, He changes his mind an slams the door in my face. I'm hurt but (for some unknown reason...it is God, after all) willing to forgive. So when God sends out another invitation to dinner, I gladly accept...only to have the door slammed in my face again. It would seem ridiculous for me to even entertain the idea of accepting another invitation, wouldn't it? How many times should a person subject themselves to that? But then, there is always that chance that He won't slam the door on my face a third time, right? What should I do in this situation? What is the "right" thing to do? What does God want me to do?
Oy! This is too much for a Wednesday morning following a Tuesday night where I had a margarita the size of my head. Too much sadness. Too many tears.
Here's the song I cranked on the car radio on my way into work this morning...
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you’ve lost your fight
But you’ll be alright
Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of canyon with only one way down
Take what you’re given before it’s gone
And start holdin’ on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand (I particularly like this part)
Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place