Her name is Cass and her first daughter, Quinn, was stillborn at 26 weeks in 2005. We ran into each other on the Silent Grief message board because we were both mourning our lost babies. She has been amazingly supportive and kind to everyone who needed a little extra love. She is the first in line to cheer in celebration of good news. She is the first in line to cry with you over sad news. She was due July 24th with her second daughter, Peyton, and we all cheered for her.
A few weeks ago, an ultrasound revealed that baby Peyton was small for her gestational age but a follow-up amnio indicated that everything was normal. A few days ago, an ultrasound revealed that baby Peyton no longer had a heartbeat. Cass will be induced today...the same day that my friend Darcie will bury her sweet baby girl, Carli.
There are many things I could say right now about the loss of such wanted babies...about God...about the unfairness of it all. I could talk about how I did not sleep last night thinking of these women and the thousands like them whose fairy tale ends in a nightmare every.single.day. But it all seems pointless in the face of this grief. I have been sick with the stomach flu this week, but it is my heart that hurts the most.