Steve asked me the other day, "Why is it that Christmas music makes me feel angry?"
Good question. I don't have the answer, but I feel it too. Visceral anger.
Not just at Christmas music either.
I'm angry. No...I'm f***ing angry.
At everyone and everything. But most especially at God.
You've got a plan? Well I think it f***ing sucks.
You took my babies...Or...You let my babies die.
F*** you. I don't have any use for you.
Have faith? F*** you again.
Faith for what? Eternity with a creator who would kill? or turn a blind eye when someone is dying?
I didn't learn any lesson but how to hate you.
I want to thank you for my Samuel. I want to curse you for my Alex and my Travis.
I want to smash all the pretty little things I see at Christmas into a million pieces. Like my heart.
I bet this isn't the kind of prayer you were hoping for.
But you must exist for me to hate you. So that's something...right?