Friday, September 08, 2006

Marking time for (a year and) four months.

Last year at this time I made a list of what I've been doing other than grieving...and it seems like a good way to pass this day as well.

~Still doing animal rescue...though slightly scaled back due to gas prices.
~Still crafting...though less for charity and more for gifts for friends with new babies.
~Still mystery shopping...this weekend a "conflict diamonds" mystery shop. Sparkly things and making managers uncomfortable...this is fun stuff!
~Still volunteering with Memories of Mariam...making free memorial items...mother's bracelets and commemorative certificates.
~Not so much cleaning. Lots of playing. Trying not to lose my mind in the mess that is my house.
~Watching the destruction/construction.
~Working on a NILMDTS database. I also just signed up to be a parent coordinator to promote the organization.
~Talking to my June 2002 mommy friends about a planned vacation in October. I finally get to meet them! I've only met one so far so this is exciting for me, since we've known each other for five years already!
~Trying to figure out how to get the airport card to work in our old iMac.
~Planning my new flower garden...which will be extensively worked on as soon as they stop driving trucks around and over the area I plan to put it.
~Shopping for all things house-related.
~Enlisting the help of friends and coworkers to find someone to give Travis' baby stuff to...someone far enough removed from us that we won't ever run into them.
~Trying to work...though not doing a very good job at it.
~Gaining weight and hating my body.

Four months ago our world fell apart...again.

Instead of excitedly anticipating the arrival of our son on September 23rd, we are ordering another headstone.

Sometimes life seems unbelievably cruel.


Julie said...

Cruel just doesn't even seem like the word. Sending you tons of hugs, and wishing I could do more.

kate said...

What Julie said. Unbelievably cruel isn't even descriptive enough. I am sorry. ((((((cheesy internet hugs)))))

Rosepetal said...

I have been lurking on your blog. I'm so sorry that Alex and Travis aren't with you.

Lisa P. said...

I'm sorry life has been so cruel. (((hugs)))

Sarah said...

More dorky internet hugs from me... I hope making another list wasn't too hard. And i'm so sorry you even had to.

Thinking of you these days.

Heather said...

Cruel and it just plain sucks. I am sorry.

I am hoping our trip will give you all the love and laughs you have been needing for a while. I can't wait to meet you and your guys.