Steve is upstairs. UPSTAIRS! It is unbelievable that this dream that hatched five years ago when we moved in is now becoming a reality. He can't believe it either. That's why he climbs up there every chance he gets, even though nothing has changed since yesterday, to check it out. I know what he's thinking in his head...because I'm thinking similar things. Here is where the closet will be...here is where the bathroom will be...etc...etc.
It's really going to take some getting used to...hearing footsteps up above though. For the last five years we've been one-floor-living-and-loving. With the un-usability of the previous upstairs over just one third of the house, we didn't spend much time up there, opting to use the space mostly for storage. Our attempts to fill the existing two rooms with kids didn't go so well, so the "stuff" accumulated and gathered dust (and was, in its unused state, apparently a great receptacle for cat puke).
Which leads me to my current thought process. Not the cat puke...the unused state business. I'm not sure I'm ready to expand to two whole floors. Not only do I not have anybody to fill in the space with, but it means there will be more space between Steve and Sam and I. The mere thought brings tears to my eyes. You'd think I was contemplating Sam going off to college...not just his own bedroom. I won't be far away...and it's not like I think this new room is going to magically make him sleep in his own bed (though I think Steve is hoping)...so what's the big deal?
The big deal is that I just don't need anything to emphasize the emptiness right now. I convinced myself that I could distract myself with fixtures and flooring. And I have been. But now that I can "see it" happening, I wonder about the finished product. Big and empty. Not totally empty...just bigger than we need. And it doesn't help that everyone keeps saying, "Well, you'll need that extra room if you decide to have more kids." It's like they're saying, "That house is too big for just the three of you." And they're right.
Maybe it's not that I have to get used to the footsteps overhead.
Maybe it's that I have to get used to the lack of footsteps.