Thursday, August 03, 2006

It's been a while

It's been a while since it happened...the awkward feeling like I should crawl under the desk and hide. But it's still here, alive and well.

Today my office neighbor's wife brought their 6.5 month old son in for a visit. She lost power at her house and it was just too hot to stay it was a visit to daddy at the office.

Baby M is adorable and I invited his daddy to bring him into my office so I could make googly faces at him. I was even able to coax a couple of smiles out of him, though he spent a good bit of the time staring at me as though he knew all my secrets. (This is a new phenomenon for me and's like they KNOW or something...kind of creepy...especially when other people comment on it...but I digress...)

We were all in my office ooh-ing and aah-ing over him when S, the new girl (who DOES know my story), turns to R (the new mommy in the office...though not so new anymore...her kid is a year old now...just about how old Alex should be) and says, "Don't you want another one of those?" And R says, "No, one is good enough for now." Which left WHO as the next likely target for her dumbass idiotic questions? Yours truly, of course. Thankfully, she engaged her brain before she actually said it, but I was left instead with that look and that awkward moment where everyone in the room realized what she was going to say and why she couldn't say it to me.


If anyone needs me I'll be under my desk, curled in a fetal position, crying my eyes out. Thanks for stopping by.


Kathy McC said...

What a dipshit she is...I am sorry. (((hugs)))

Sarah said...

It sucks.... I'm sorry.

Julie said...

For gosh sakes, I think I would have decked her just for THINKING it. I second Kathy - dipshit indeed. Hugs...

Lisa P. said...

Hugs here too. I had a moment like that today (thankfully it was not in person though) when I saw the surprise pregnancy announcement of someone who had her first right before my first loss. It never does go away, and I wish it would for all of us.

kate said...


Yeah, i have also had that feeling many times since Nicolas died, that babies were staring at me in a way, that they just *know*. But it isn't a bad stare, just one that hits you.