Friday, August 25, 2006

Can I tell you...?

Can I tell you how I want to scream? Will you tell me to be quiet?

Can I tell you how I want to sleep? Will you tell me to keep moving?

Can I tell you how I want to cry? Will you turn away in embarassment?

Can I tell you how I want to hurt someone? Will you look at me in fear?

Can I tell you how I need to hold onto something? Will you pity me?

Can I tell you all the ugly things there are to tell? What will you think then?

Can I trust you? Do you trust me?

So many questions. It's all in question.
It's all wrong. There are no right answers.

Do you feel it? Or is it just a distant memory?

Did you ever feel it?

Your life is gone...get over it. Move on.

"Living or existing?" the church sign asks silently on one side. On the other, some cute little quote about my obligations to God.

I have no idea what to say anymore. I want to forget and move on. I hate it all.

My mind cannot hold the details...cannot process this life. I sit and stare and wonder...

Can I tell you?


Runelady said...

I walked through WalMart today and ran into the baby dept. and cried. Yeah, you can tell me. You can tell me just about anything, my loving, wonderful, cherished child. I love you. Signed Mom

Holley said...

You can always tell me.

Hugs to you.

Sherry (Hallesmom) said...

I'm here. I won't run away no matter how loud you scream, or what the truth is.

And to you and your Mom, *hugs*

Julian's Mom said...

Catherine, I just wanted to check in and let you know that I am aware that Travis' due date is approaching, and that I am thinking of you during this incredibly difficult time.

Julie said...

Scream, cry, hold on to whatever gets you through the night and/or long stressful days. We are all here, and listening, so let it out. As often as needed. This isn't a quick process. I love you.

V said...

Yes, I am listening and I understand. Nothing that you feel is wrong, remember that. It is just how you feel and you should be free to express it.

R said...

You can tell me.

AJW5403 said...

Sending you ((Hugs)) I don't pity you I understand.

Misty said...

That "post" is one of the most resonating, clean, awesome grouping of words I've ever seen. I sob at the depth of sorrow that gave birth to it, but am awe-struck by its amazing beauty.

Sarah said...

Just wanted to add... that YES you can tell me...

And i hope you do.