I told Dr. A to set it up and today I'm going for all the bloodwork that will hopefully reveal with is wrong with me.
It's strange to think that I should be pregnant at this moment. I am so emotionally far removed from that experience right now that I can barely believe it. I don't put much stock in the "should have beens" anymore. I think of them now as "might have beens." But now I think of all the might have beens in my life and I feel very very small and powerless. But forcing myself to think about this at this particular moment has made me feel...well...strange. I should be worrying about serial ultrasounds and possible amnios to check for lung maturity...in an effort to manage my pregnancy. Manage my pregnancy...ha...that's funny now. But I don't have any of that. I have, in its place, the worry of what is wrong within my body. What "thing" lurks there? And will it reveal itself?
It's weird waiting for bad news. So much different than waiting for good news. I mean, I know there's something wrong with me. We just need to name it. If I were pregnant I would know I was pregnant...and we would just need to name it. ha! I guess it's not so different after all.
-------------------------------------------
Oh...I almost forgot. I get to go with Sam to the pediatrician today. I hope to thank him for the oh-so-helpful advice he gave us last August.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Mom
My mom insisted on living independently. She wanted to live in the two-story house she and my dad built in the 70s, despite the fact that da...
-
Hi Everyone, this is Cathy's husband Stephen. I am proud to announce that Myles Fisher entered the world this afternoon at 3:51 PM He ...
-
When I was 18 years old, I wasn't paying attention while driving and I crashed my parents' van into a cruck (car with a truck bed) t...
-
"Unfortunately, honey, the baby is no longer alive.". -Ultrasound doctor
3 comments:
I can't believe that this doctor really thinks that kids are THAT oblivious. What a jackass. Hell, my son still remembers that he has two siblings in heaven and I didn't even get past the first trimester with either of them. How could he possibly think that Sam would benefit from glossing over it all?
Yikes. Hope his appointment goes well regardless.
Good luck with your tests, and also with Sam's idiotic doctor. Thinking of you! ((((hugs)))))
Maybe you could get a new pediatrician because it seems he doesn't really understand children too well.
I hope you everything goes ok at your appointment and that they will be able to find some answers for you. (((hugs)))
Post a Comment