Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Here is the problem with having a broken ankle

You absolutely positively cannot wait until the last second to go to the bathroom. You have to plan in advance, like an invasion of sorts...you must have a plan of attack.

~Suit up with the necessary ace bandage and aircast.
~Manuever yourself to a standing position, which entails adjustment time to feel the blood rush into your foot and the tendons, ligaments, and muscles all protest to being asked to perform (in unison).
~Hobble, in your most professional manner while barefoot, down the hall past your coworkers' office doors...trying to keep a sense of humor as they quietly chuckle at you.
~Close the bathroom door without catching your trussed up foot underneath (and without any twisting or turning movements...cause...damn...those hurt).
~Wrangle your pants and undergarments to the floor without falling over.
~Position yourself just over the pot and basically freefall onto the seat while holding said ankle straight out (because...damn...those twisting, turning AND bending movements hurt).

And let's not even talk about proper hygiene...or the return trip to your office.

Just remember to schedule approximately 15 minutes for each adventure. And don't delay the initial departure once you get that first inkling that you MIGHT have to go...unless you have really good bladder control.

1 comment:

Kathy McC said...

You poor thing. It's like when you hurt your good arm and have to try and pull pants down/up and "cleanse" yourself with one hand...

At least you gave yourself proper time to get there. The last thing you need is to wet yourself...