Dear Steve

I know this Father's Day isn't what you had hoped for, and I am so sorry I can't make all your dreams come true. There will be so much opportunity this Father's Day to mourn what you have lost, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate all the blessings you have brought to our life together.

This is what I wrote last year. hehehe...I guess this year isn't what you hoped for either. I don't know if you want me to gloss over all the bad and focus on the good again, but dammit, I'm gonna do it anyway.

As Sam sits here with a fistful of crayons, coloring you a "Father's Day picture," I see how very lucky we all are to have one another. But mostly, Sam and I are lucky to have you.

I asked you this morning if you still loved me like you used to and you didn't even hesitate to answer yes.

You have been by my side, no matter how insane or broken I've been, giving your love freely and keeping me from falling off the edge into the abyss.

You spent hours outside in the scorching heat trying to find the perfect level place for that dang pool because we had promised Sam.

You let him watch Math Circus when I know you'd rather be watching baseball.

You shared your Father's Day brunch with my parents because you know how much my Dad means to me.

You have done all you can to bring a smile to Sam's face when I know you would much rather sit down and cry your own heart out.

You love all our boys and have made Alex and Travis as much a loved part of our existence as Sam.

You indulge me in all the distractions I need in order to not lose my mind.

You are a good father. But you're an amazing daddy. And you're my miracle...you and Sam.

Happy Father's Day.

I love you.