Thursday, April 20, 2006

Funny how life seems so normal until...

You would think that with everything we've been through, we would be beyond saying, "But things like this don't happen to ME." But here I am. Long story short, the dog has some bad ick. I will not describe because it will induce vomiting in the weak-stomached and will cause nightmares in the squeamish (it did both to me).

The vet says he will recover with medication and extra TLC. It won't extend his life. He is, after all, according to the age chart on the wall of the vet's office, 90 years old. But he's still got personality, so we'll give him the best quality of life that we can until it's absolutely necessary to say goodbye. And yes HAS been that long since college. :o)

Anyway...when we discovered the ick...and today at the vet's office when the vet said, "These things happen a lot," I heard myself say, "Not to us. We're good pet owners. We take care of our animals like they are family members. There is no excuse good enough that this happened." Again with the blame! I could kick myself in the head for even THINKING these things. But when I actually said them out was sort of like a big old boot fell out of the sky and squashed my brain cells into a big pancake. Did I not learn ANYTHING?!?! Like the vet said...these things happen. I should understand that point better than most. And I should also understand that the unnecessary guilt is a waste of time.

And here I thought I was so evolved now. Ha!


Yesterday I ran into yet one more person who didn't know Alex is dead.

"The last time I saw you, you were expecting a baby!" (Expectant pause for me to gush about how well our sweet child is doing...)

"Yes...he died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You know, my sister lost a baby once and we were talking and she said, 'These things happen for a reason.'"

And you know what I did? I looked her dead in the eye and said, "Well, I don't know that I believe that, but thank you for caring enough to offer an attempt at understanding."

And you know what she did? She didn't get offended. She took a second for the realization of my words to hit her and she said, "No, I guess you might not believe that, would you?"

That's me...educating the person at a time. I think I need a superhero cape. :o)


Sarah said...

Good job superwoman! I'm impressed at how you handled yourself with the woman's non-helpful comment.


Bronwyn said...

That is the most brilliant response to such an awkward comment. Brava!

Lorem ipsum said...

One thing I've learned to say is, 'You know, you have an opinion, but I'd rather hear nothing or a simple I'm sorry than have to hear one more stupid platitude.' I've used this on everyone from close relatives to the radiology assistant at my last HSG.

I'm glad she tried to understand. Unlike most people would, you know.

lauralu said...

you deserve a cape and also a big "E" on your chest, for
(drum roll)


you're my hero. :)

kate said...

Or maybe E should be for Exellent! I love your totally true response to her comment. And i love that she got it, too.

Sorry about your doggie :( ...speaking of bad pet owners, wait until you hear the latest story about my cat...

Heather said...

I have been wondering about your dog. I am so glad he will recover. :)

Julie said...

I'm very impressed that you were able to respond to her calmly. I probably would have challenged her to give me a good enough REASON that my otherwise healthy son had to die inside me at term because of knots in his cord, just to watch her squirm. But that's me. I'm still a little hateful.
Sorry about the dog. We had a dog get parvo once, that is one nasty disease. Glad his is treatable.

Diana said...

I'm glad she didn't get offended and tried to understand. She's already ahead of the people you try to educate.
Sorry about the doggie. Hope he feels beeter soon.

Diana said...

duh. *better* sorry, can't spell today.

deadbabymama said...

Wow, good for you! And kudos to her for not just getting defensive.

I hope your dog gets better, And just how long has it been since college? ;)

the ockers said...

wow, you're amazing.