Friday, January 13, 2006

Creepy

Do you think inanimate things can have a memory? Do you think that something can be involved in something so horrific that the residual energy lingers around that object somehow? Do you wonder about the people who held the things and created that energy?

We ate a pizza lunch in our conference room today. And besides having to get up and walk out because new mommy coworker was complaining about what a chore it is for her to pump breastmilk for her beautiful six month old baby boy, there was something notable that happened. Maybe it just happened in my mind. Our conference room has been used the past couple of weeks to prepare for a big murder trial here in our county. Ralph Clark, involved in a rather strange "church," killed his estranged wife after she got custody of their children and announced her intention to move out of state. (I can talk about this because word is that the Defendant entered into a plea agreement this afternoon.) Trial preparation naturally included a review of the evidence to be admitted at trial (scheduled for next Wednesday).

There I sat, eating my pizza next to a box that contained the rifle a man used to beat his wife to death...next to the envelopes and bags of her clothing, her eyeglasses, and other bits and pieces of her broken life...all presumably spattered with her blood, though not visible through the chain-of-custody packaging that is used. We sat there talking about work and our lives (eventually devolving into what seems to be an inevitable conversation about babies...which necessitated my quick departure from the room).

It seemed wrong to me.

Carolyn Clark isn't here anymore. She's dead. And there sits the evidence to prove who killed her...next to me as I eat my lunch. I wonder about her family...Her thirteen children...Her husband. And I felt this connection by sitting next to these "things" that I couldn't shake. I could feel his rage and her fear wrapped up in brown paper wrapping and marked with biohazard labels.

When Alex died I had an urge to give away certain things...to sell others...to purge myself of some things while holding fast to others. Right this moment, as I digest my lunch, I wonder if my subconscious wasn't telling me something. I wonder if things don't hold onto their energy and it takes being stripped of all our pretense and facade to really feel it and accept it for what it is.

There are a few more items I think I'm going to have to get rid of. A certain pair of pants...a ring I wore the day I found out...they both have a "weird feeling" about them. I've been debating what to do with them for a while. But lunch has definitely convinced me to err on the side of caution. I don't need that kind of energy around me now.

8 comments:

Jill said...

Wow, what a thought. And now you mention it, there are cetainly things that are more charged than others. I'm not sure how it works, or why it even should, but when you think about it, it seems as though it does.

rach said...

As you know I am a Christian, and most of my faith would say that's "Hocus Pocus". But there is so much of that that the Bible doesn't even touch on. I DO believe that things can hold energy, and that energy is just as real as me sitting here typing this to you.

Yes, get rid of those things.

Rach

rach said...

edited to say "most PEOPLE of my faith would say that's hocus pocus."

rach said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lorem ipsum said...

Oh yes they can. Ask anyone who has driven through Germany and felt a sudden urge to flee, only to learn that they are near Dachau, or anybody who gravitates toward a certain place in a strange city only to learn later that's where an ancestor lived and died.

And then there are smaller things. Recently clearing out my crawl space, I found some objects from very bad influence in my life. I made a point of breaking them before throwing the pieces away. The garbage truck finally came yesterday. And do you know what? I feel that the shame has been destroyed as well, at least in part.

If you have metal or stone objects that seem to have that aura (i.e. jewelry), maybe a new-age shop can tell you what to do. I know that for moonstones you tumble them in hematite after every period and charge them during a full moon... which confuses me this week, as I have both going on at the same time. Go figure.

gabesmama said...

I agree. I still have many things that were intended for Gabe--I still have my pregnancy clothes as well. I hate giving them away but then I do think that there is something weird--you are right, bad energy.

Diana said...

I belive in the energies lingering, I'm in the process of moving to a new place and my hubby keeps holding things up to me waiting for me to say "chuck it" because i'm trying to rid us of anything holding bad energy... life hasn't been peaches and cream here either. If you feel wierd about it, just let it go. It might make you feel better.

msfitzita said...

That's so interesting - I had things I HAD to get rid of too. I thought it was just me...

Good luck unloading the ring and pants, and I hope the cleansing ritual brings peace and a new, happy energy!

(((((HUGS))))