Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I can't do it

I'm having an unusual reaction to a lot of different things lately and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Christmas was filled with a lot of things that I just couldn't do...I couldn't face them...and I thought it was the holiday that was making me feel this way about other non-holiday-related things too. But the holiday is gone and I'm still feeling this way.

I didn't have this need to use avoidance before (except for maybe at work where new mommy co-worker is always in my face). I was dealing and coping and all those "positive" things.

But now, I just need to hide away for a while and not have to face anything.

It's not that I feel depressed...it's just that I have to gear up to care about anything other than my immediate family and my home and my pets. I seriously could care less about anything outside of my little sphere of existence.

Is this normal?


rach said...

uh, YEAH, 110% normal. All you should be focusing on now is Steve, Sam, and your pets. I'm serious. Make sure Sam is dressed and ready, and gets a little extra hug from you during the day. And give Steve lots of hugs.

As far as I'm concerned, those are the things you should be concerned about. Nothing else. Take it a day at a time. One step at a time.

I'm rooting for you.

Are you guys TTC? That could be adding to the stress. Thinking about that is sure adding to stress for me. I'm so afraid of the same thing happening as happened last time - one dying and then the other having lots of problems.


Heather said...

Really, who knows what is normal? You just do what you have to do to survive this as best as possible. I agree-- you, your family, home, and pets is all you should be concerned about. To hell with the rest of it. :)

cat said...

Agreed totally normal. All we wanted to do was run and hide from the world for many many months after our losses. That's exactly what we did too. Did it help? Yep... sometimes in some ways... Thinking of you. *hug*

lauralu said...

i feel ya.

rach said...

The absolute horror of what happened to you hit me full force today. All you have been through - wow. Be good to yourself, Catherine.



Julie said...

I'm a big proponent of my own little sphere of existence, so I'm picking up what you're laying down, sistah.

sillyhummingbird said...

I can completely relate. We often say how we wish we could lock ourselves away from the world. Putting up with and tolerating other people is exhausting--we are happy enough with just us. I have been going with what is working at the moment and so far so good! (((hugs)))