Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I wish I was them

Let me tell you what really irks me. Not the nameless crack whores who can get pregnant so easily. Not the nameless irresponsible fathers who disappear and don't provide. No. What really irks me is my family. Not my immediate family...my extended family. I don't know if any of them read this, so I won't name names.

The source of my amusement for many years has been the image of my brother sitting at my parent's kitchen table, surrounded by my aunts (someone's graduation party, I believe), laughing and saying, "Who would've thought WE'D be the normal ones (referring to himself, my sister and me)?" It was funny at the time. Now, with a different perspective, it's really irritating.

My one cousin. Four, possibly five illegitimate children. No responsibility for any of them. Her parents have custody of three of them, one was adopted, and we're not sure if there was a fifth, though there is some suspicion.

My other cousin. Married, had twins and then one more, divorced, married again, divorced, ex-wife has baby unbeknownst to him, he's now labelled violent and dangerous and only gets supervised visitation, dating someone, gets her pregnant, has a vasectomy (finally), now dating another woman while the previous one is still expecting (I think...it's hard to keep the details of this little soap opera straight).

My other cousin. Not married, gets girlfriend pregnant, needs to establish paternity in order to get child away from obviously neglectful mother, finds one excuse or another not to do it.

My other cousin. Engaged seven times, I think. Finally gets married. Has twins and then one more. Divorce. Still living with ex-husband (or something like that...again...it's all lost in the details).

My other cousin. Married, has a baby, says he's done, wife disagrees, they have two more.

Me...can't even have a second child without f*cking it up.

Who is normal again?

Why is it they can live their lives without a care in the world? Why do they get the sadly unrecognized blessing of multiple children? What did I do to deserve this? I swear something is seriously screwed up with the universe...and it pisses me off.


Lorem ipsum said...

My SIL has two kids by different guys, and the younger kid has four or five half-siblings. Same situation. Why women get involved with such creeps is beyond me; I'm just glad she got an IUD so maybe people like us can try to catch up.

My cousin's wife is expecting too. They got married only 'cause I got engaged (they were together 13 years, then rushed to get married because their baby cousin - me - was). They are two of the most shallow people you'd ever expect to meet in your life, the last people on the planet (except for Tom Cruise) I'd expect to become parents. But hey, I get pregnant, twice, and the next thing you know, they're doing it too.

Resentment is normal. You still care.

Anam Cara said...

I wish I had an adequate answer, but I don't. The world/universe really is a screwed up place. You aren't alone though - I am pissed off with you.

Jill said...

I have cousins like yours. My theory is that they are more like amimals than people in that there is no thought that goes into it, no pain, no real emotion ever comes out of it. Doesn't make it fair, but it pleases me to picture them scratching about the jungle floor feeding off bugs and fungi and picking the lice off their kids. The lice thing is probably a reality...