Saturday, October 22, 2005

The two faces of me

I will soon get back to my regular blogging for me. But right now I want to do some blogging directly to you, my dear friends.

Please let me say that we truly appreciate the offers of financial help. It felt GOOD to know that someone cares enough to offer concrete help. There is a part of me that says, "They're offering to help, you'd be a fool to turn them down." I even said to Steve, "Why should we refuse? We've been through enough, let's accept whatever help we can get." The look he gave me said it all. And after a bit of thought, I have to (reluctantly) agree with him.

This is OUR fight. And while we think it is wonderfully thoughtful of anyone to offer to don suits of armor and come riding to our rescue, we have to fight this fight for ourselves. We will, without doubt, need to rely on you all for emotional support...no matter what happens. But at this point it just doesn't feel right accepting money. Particularly when we know so many of you can use every penny you have for yourselves and those things in your lives that are important.

Steve and I will find a way to make this happen. Just like everything in our lives that we've managed to do together through the past eleven years or so...when we want it badly enough we find a way. Would that it were so easy to bring our little Alex back. But short of that impossibility, we will do whatever we can to find some justice for him, regardless of the cost. Nothing about this is going to be easy. So we have to accept the fact that the money hurdle is just the first in a series of tough things we're going to have to face if we want this bad enough.

They say pride goeth before a fall...let's hope this is different. I already feel like I'm standing at the bottom of a huge mountain...looking up...and realizing I've left my climbing gear at home.

But this is something we have to do. For our peace of mind.

For Alex.

5 comments:

cat said...

We will be out here rooting for you all. I truly hope that you will find justice and peace in this. May you also find healing and perhaps a small bit of closure.

*hugs*

Lorem ipsum said...

Actually, as a veteran climber, you don't need gear necessarily to get up the mountain. It's more critical for the descent.

gabesmama said...

I'm just glad I can at least give emotional support. It means so much that you are considering fighting for the truth.

lauralu said...

my god, i had no idea this was going on when you were here last night! i've been offline too long.

Heather said...

Lots of love, sweet friend.