Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I'm too impressionable

I watched an episode of CSI the other night in which they pulled a maggot out of the ear of a corpse. I've been having a creepy crawly feeling in my right ear ever since.

I'm not feeling particularly bloggy lately. I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record. And I keep hearing people tell me, "Well, you can't base things on your one bad experience...you're the exception, not the rule." Does being an exception and not the rule make it any less real to me? I mean, it DID happen...didn't it? Maybe this is one of those times I need to ignore what everyone else says/thinks and go with my gut...and blab incessantly about stuff that nobody but me cares about. Hell...everyone else is taking up cyberspace...why not me and my repetitive crap? What would my mother say to that? "If everyone else jumped off a pier, would you do it too?" lol

When I was pregnant with Alex, I could conjure an image of a nice warm, sunny beach somewhere and it would magically stave off the morning sickness. I've got nothing now.

I'm off to clean out my ear with a q-tip for the zillionth time today.


Jill said...

WHO is telling you these things? Sometimes repeating a fact over and over desensitises you to to it - in other words, it can help you look at it is an way that allows you to also live your life without a lead ball in your stomach.

If you need to say it again and again, then do it. It WAS real, it DID happen. How dare anyone expect you to dismiss it because it was so unlikely? what the?

GO WITH YOUR GUT. What else are you supposed to do anyway? And, as you say, the rest of us are taking up cyberspace doing it, so WHY NOT YOU? Who's it going to hurt?

Go dig out that maggot now;)

lauralu said...

on the exception argument: it's easy to look at the statistics objectively when you haven't been the exception, but when the overwhelming odds have already gone against you, it's hard to not focus on the fact that it could happen again, with maybe just as much likelihood as before.

you know what bugs me more: if someone gets incredibly, against-the-odds lucky, no one says, well, it's all over for you now! no! everyone says, wow, you ought to play the lottery (or whatever) while your streak is hot! well, why wouldn't the same be true for bad luck???

i'm not trying to depress you. objectively, of course, the odds are in your favor if you decide to try to have another child. i'm just saying, i understand that feeling.

Lorem ipsum said...

You are not a broken record. This is how you deal with things. And the following quote shows that you aren't the only one who's felt isolated:

There are two great rules of life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that everyone can, in the end, get what he wants if he only tries. This is the general rule. The particular rule is that every individual is more or less an exception to the general rule.
— Samuel Butler, English author (1835-1902)

So you are entitled to your emotions!

Oh, and I was in high school when I saw 'The Lost Boys' and the infamous maggot scene. I didn't eat Chinese food for YEARS after that!

Lisa P. said...

My husband doesn't understand how I, of the "bugs-and-gross-things-freak-me-out" society, have come to LOVE CSI. I watch it every night in reruns now. (I know Lorum is mortified.) :)

And as for "broken records" -- I fight with this, too. Some days I don't know whether to blog or just keep it to myself; fortunately, most days I remember that I'm doing this for me, and if I need to talk about it, then I let it out, even if I've said something similar every day prior. Go on and say what you need to say; we don't think it's "taking up cyberspace" at all. It serves a purpose.

Lorem ipsum said...

Nah, I'm not mortified, Lisa! Although people assumed I loved gross movies. I don't, and I pass out at the sight of my own blood! The camera (or TV screen, in your case) is a protective barrier.

Oh, and what she said. Again.