I hate self-assurance, because I used to have it.
I hate people with all the answers, because I once was like that.
I hate happy baby talk, because all I have is sad baby talk.
I hate religion, because it provides me no comfort.
I hate people who don't have all the answers, because I want some and have very few.
I hate crying, because it seems to be all I do.
I hate that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is horribly wrong, because something IS horribly wrong.
I hate that people tell me to just give it time, because it seems all I have left is one long endless stretch of time.
I hate that people are afraid to talk to me, because I would have been the same way.
I hate that people don't know what this is like, because I want someone to share my pain and understand.
I'm jealous of all those people out there who have what I used to have...a happily complicated-with-everyday-things kind of life. This is what my life is reduced to...simple jealousy. I feel a need to turn this around FAST. This is not who I want to be. I won't ask for suggestions, because I fear they would only serve to piss me off. lol Just know that I'm aware of this and I'm trying to fix it.