Friday, June 17, 2005

Back in business

I've decided that it's time to recapture some of my life. This weekend we'll be transporting and overnighting FIVE puppies. They are coming from a kill shelter and going to a rescue who will find them loving forever homes. I hope some puppy kisses will do me some good. But more than that, this is a cause that's near and dear to my heart. My last transport was our foster dalmatian, Deja, the weekend before Alex died...

You know it is so strange to write that last line because I don't know WHEN Alex died. I know he was dead by Monday morning, but I don't know exactly when he actually died. And it's not really right to say birthday. I mean, I delivered his body, but he wasn't really born. So what do I call it? Alex's heaven day or angel day is just too cheesy for me.

Anyway...

I have all sorts of feelings tied up in that last transport. I have a picture of me all pregnant and smiling in the rain with Deja and Sam. When I look at it I think how utterly naive and clueless I was. I had worked so hard getting applications screened and we were so thrilled that Deja had found a forever home after being rescued from a kill shelter and spending months in foster care. We were also glad for us that we would be foster-free during the time the new baby was supposed to come home. I cried when she pulled away with Rita on the next leg of her journey at the New York state line.

We're only headed to Erie, PA this weekend, but I'm sure I'm going to cry for different reasons on this transport. But it will be good...I will face those demons and get them under control so I can get back into the rescue biz. Something I'm actually looking forward to, if you can believe it.

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