Ten years

It is impossible to describe what it is like to live ten years with a broken heart. Patched and sewn together pieces that never really quite fit back together the way they should. 

How can the feeling of him be so far away while the pain of losing him still hurts so much? 

Alex would be ten if he had lived. Ten. So many things we've missed...so many more we will miss.

The idea that this will go on for the rest of my life makes me feel sick to my stomach.