School starts

First and seventh grades. I love them so much...and yet there are these missing pieces.

I read this article this morning and it describes perfectly what I'm feeling.

• He’s been gone far too long to stay in the present.
• It hurts that an entire school day will happen today without anyone realizing someone was missing.
• I have two other children of my own. I get it. I really do. But I want to scream to these parents– YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!!! YOU ARE SO BLESSED TO SEND YOUR CHILD OFF TO SCHOOL. YOU ARE SO BLESSED TO WATCH YOUR CHILD GROW ANOTHER YEAR OLDER!!!!

Put simply, my babies are still dead and I still miss them every day.

But I'm not allowed to say that anymore. My "loss" isn't as enormous as some. Yet it is more than "normal" people want to hear about. So there is nobody to talk to about how much this hurts.

Second and third grade classes will go on today without Alex and Travis. My husband will work at home with no four-year-old baby to interrupt his work. Their names won't be included in any attendance roll call. Nobody will mention their names today.

Here's to another school year.