tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836584.post5902235737629556549..comments2023-09-23T07:24:36.217-04:00Comments on Everything Is Under Control: BattlefieldUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836584.post-81074572040306943762010-05-03T21:20:14.618-04:002010-05-03T21:20:14.618-04:00Rach said what i was going to say. For years it w...Rach said what i was going to say. For years it wasn't true that most babies lived, and many mommies died too. Yet the living children grew up and thrived, in their turn.katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16536809590856333391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836584.post-5010856808016087652010-05-03T09:45:22.963-04:002010-05-03T09:45:22.963-04:00"everything women have been doing for centuri..."everything women have been doing for centuries...I wasn't able to do it...and they paid the priced. There will be no justice for them until the day I die."<br /><br />you know your thinking is skewed on this one. women HAVEN'T been able to do it for centuries...stories of dying during labor and too much blood lost and all kinds of deformities, stillbirth, etc... we like to think that pregnancy and birth has always been (and IS) a flowery, happy, sunny kind of thing. Truth is, it isn't. Shit happens...and when it happens to US, it rips so much from us...because so much of what we feel we're supposed to be is wrapped up in our ability to reproduce. It's messed up, really...I've been thinking about it alot.<br /><br />As my OB says, "Human reproduction is a messy affair." SO true. <br /><br />I just wish the scars didn't run so deep when the shit hits the fan. And, truth is, we keep telling ourselves that "if we can get it right" again, then we won't feel so skewered by the loss.<br /><br />I'm realizing that that's not true...it's indelibly imprinted on us, you know?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14686966887504657288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836584.post-911623116041044032010-05-02T23:40:36.811-04:002010-05-02T23:40:36.811-04:00"I don't know whether to hope for that re..."I don't know whether to hope for that relief or not. What kind of mother hopes for the peace that comes from forgetting her children? And I don't EVER want Sam and Myles to think they aren't enough. So I hope that they can fill up as much space in my memory as possible? So I hope that we have enough happiness together to help me forget"<br /><br />I'm struggling with these same questions myself. Ever since IZ died, I have truly wanted to forget, because remembering is not only too painful, but it seems wrong somehow, to be so consumed with their memories. I already feel like I have, without intention, made it seem like A is not enough. If I am still obsessing over my lost family when she is 4, 6, or 10, how can she possibly ever feel like enough? But, on the other hand, how do I forget? My sons were basically nothing, except to me. It is confusing and maddening. <br /><br />Thinking of you, Catherine.ms. Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263348912679823512noreply@blogger.com