Well, this is my first time ever blogging, or sharing my thoughts and feeling with anyone except my wife. It has been just over a month now since Cathy, Sam and I found out that our little boy Alex had died and would be stillborn. I have found that most people want to treat me as though nothing has happened to me. Particularly my coworkers. While I was out on a Leave of Absence, the controller of the department decided to tell everyone in my department that they should not mention Alex’s death to me, or ask me how I am doing. While I know that he did this with good intentions, my co-workers are now treating me as though I am same person that I was before Alex died, when I am defiantly not that same person. I suppose to them nothing has changed, however; to me everything has changed. My priorities have changed. I am no longer looking to take on extra work to try an impress my management team, instead, I am looking to do as little as I can to make it thru the day and still be considered having showed up for work and done my job. I no longer care about getting another promotion, instead, I care about getting to leave at 5:15 and enter into the part of my world that really matters.
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I am a very talkative person, however; it is always about nonsense. I’m not typically one who likes to talk about what I am feeling, however; Alex’s death has really made me look at who I am, and what I want to further become.